#selfie

My trusty companion!
Disclaimer: If I should die,
please burn this immediately.
Thanks ;)

Today not only marks the final day of Term 1 of my 2^nd year, but also the final page of the 4^th journal I’ve completed since arriving here. I’d never kept a journal before coming to Uganda and I doubt I’ll continue it much longer after arriving home, but I’m so thankful I’ve made it a point to jot down some small passage of everyday I’ve lived here.

This journal started off with the decline into my lowest point in country and now it’s ending with the highest.

After reading through some old entries, I felt like I’ve been a very selfish person. So many sentences started with “I”.

“I want to go home.”
“I hate this feeling.”

“I can’t stop crying.”

It made me think about how much of an emotional roller coaster this experience is. How we come here to help others, but it’s 110% true that we get more than we could ever possibly give. In the grand scheme of things, me as one person isn’t going to make that big of a difference and when I leave, no one will ever fully understand what it was like here. That feeling of uselessness is very common among PCVs and it was something I definitely struggled with. But now I’ve come to realize that it’s ok to feel like I’m here for me. All we can really do is try to be a better person than we were yesterday. So this has led me to some serious reflection time about myself, who I used to be and who I am now.

This time of “finding myself” again has been full of its own kind of surprises. It kind of freaks me out how much I’ve changed in the last 17 months and I wonder how I’ll see and be seen once I’m back home. At the same time, I keep rediscovering things that I’ve somehow forgotten about myself. For example, last night I put in my headphones and cranked up some Slipknot at full volume while lying on my couch with my eyes closed (something I’d do back in the day to unwind). It was simply therapeutic.

I never realized how much I miss my car. Not only for ease of transportation, but for the fact that it’s a place I could be totally alone. I could drive anywhere playing whatever music I wanted singing as loud as I could and no one would be around to hear. I could release built up frustrations or scream with joy when I was there. It was my place to get away. A place I was totally free to be myself.

Of course we weren’t created to live in total solitude, but this doesn’t mean we need to rely on people for our happiness either. I feel like I was doing too much of that last year and it only led to a decrease in my self confidence. This year, I feel like I’ve gained back my independence and can enjoy being with people without feeling the need to be with them. It’s refreshing.

Anyway, this post has kind of changed directions in my head about five times now, but I think the point I’m trying to make is that sometimes it’s good and healthy to be a little selfish. Coming to this realization, as well as having some remarkable friends, family, and community members by my side, has really put me in a great place. I’m super happy and content with where I am right now, and really, isn’t that what life’s about?

Miracle on Mt. Elgon

A few hours drive from where I live is Mt. Elgon. Me and a few friends decided to go there for our Easter weekend celebration. Here’s how it went down:

At the top, I felt so great!
The wide, open field with cows
made it feel a bit like home :)
The gorgeous view overlooking the
mountainous landscape made it feel awesome ;)

My good friend who is a fellow PCV works with a guy who went to school with a guy who knows a guy who lives up in the mountains. It was somehow miraculously arranged that we would go for a visit in a couple of weeks time. (If you know anything about Uganda, you know doing ANYTHING in a couple weeks time is simply amazing.)

It had been arranged for a matatu (“14” passenger taxi) to pick us up from town and drive out into a village where we would then begin our hike. Rainy season, dirt roads, and hills don’t always mix though and we got stuck. The ride after that was a bit scary, but beautifully scenic.

These muddy village roads

After finally arriving to the village and hearing some nice welcoming songs from some primary school pupils, we set off on our journey. Some police men started walking with us; something I don’t think was previously arranged. (Who was watching the station??)

We always draw a crowd

The “trail” that we were hiking on, was one untouched by foreigners. A narrow, muddy path that the locals use every day to go to school, the market, fetch water, or whatever else they need to do.

It was a bit terrifying because one slip and you’re rolling down the sharp drop right next to you. Meanwhile, as you’re cautiously watching your footing, barefooted children carrying bags twice their size are running past you.

During the hike

It took us two hours to reach our destination at the top, but we made it in one piece! (Barely. I totally wiped out on a rock while crossing a stream at one point.) The view was absolutely amazing and we all felt pretty awesome for climbing up near the clouds.

Feelin' safer all the time

We were the first foreigners these people had seen and we were immediately surrounded by children as we set up our tents. Our hosts provided us with lunch, dinner, and breakfast, led us on a continued hike further up the ridge, and even offered to heat some water so we could have warm bucket baths!

While climbing down the next day, I felt so in awe of the world. I thought of these people and how they live. As we’re huffing and puffing going up just for fun, they have to do this every day to survive. Its incredible how isolated they are. They have so little money, yet they were still not expecting us to pay anything for everything they were giving us. I wonder what they think of Americans now. This will probably be something they’ll always remember.

Ugandans are amazing people

It was only a two day journey, but it was one of my favorite and most memorable times here. Of course the view was insane and the hiking and camping were “in-tents” (haha!), but also meeting such a community is something very few people have the privilege of doing. This experience has further opened my eyes to how different two lives can be and it’s just mind-blowingly spectacular! <3

Sunset on a remarkable Easter Sunday

Mzungu Privilege

I’ve been thinking about this topic for awhile and now that I’m riled up, I thought I’d try to put it into words. Let's see where it goes!

Mzungu=the name everyone in Uganda calls you if you’re a foreigner, most especially white.

Surprisingly enough, the game of counting how many times that name is shouted at you on your walk somewhere, isn’t actually that fun. In fact, it’s really, really annoying.

(I don't know why this picture won't turn the correct way,
and maybe it proves my idiocy with technology,
but I tried! Just turn your head :D please)
Some lovely notes I got this week
from some lovely pupils <3

But there are a lot of perks to being one here.

Examples:
*During the Christmas madness, me and almost everyone else were trying to get a bus. When it arrived, the mob started pushing and fighting for a seat. The conductor saw me and pulled me through the crowd to ensure I would be leaving on that bus instead of waiting for the next one.  

*There’s sometimes a large crowd at the tap where I fetch my water. But when they see me approach, they take my jerry can and fill it for me before everyone else’s so I don’t have to wait.
*Meeting people is so easy! Everyone wants to greet and talk with you. Some just want money, but a lot of them are genuine and just want to be your friend. After which, they will do anything for you.

*A constant state of appreciation can be nice. It makes you feel good when fellow teachers and other adults constantly tell you “well done” and pupils bring you notes that say “I lov you techr Anna”.

Today alone I really felt the “mzungu privilege” I have.

1^st: One of the student teachers requested me to observe his lesson because he wanted to hear my different ideas on how he can improve instead of the Ugandan method of having the pupils memorize everything. I also invited all of the student teachers over for a pancake lunch next week as a way to say “thank you for the hard work” to them.

2^nd: I was able to bring the idea of celebrating birthdays to my school to make individual teachers feel recognized and appreciated. This is something they don’t do, so when Tr. Mary walked into the staff room and everyone stood up and sang “Happy Birthday” to her, she jumped with surprise. Then we gave her the card everyone had signed and the chocolate chip cookies I’d made. She was so happy and said she had never felt so loved and that no one had ever celebrated her birthday before.

3^rd:  I made a friend a few weeks ago who is a baking fiend. He’s been inviting me over to show me his kitchen area with his oven and talk about the business. Today he was mingling some batter for a watermelon shaped cake he’s making for a wedding and gave me buns and scones he’d made earlier.

4^th: I went to town to have a nice lunch with a fellow “mzungu” friend at a “mzungu” restaurant. Then went shopping for some goodies like cheese and soy sauce on my grocery run.

5^th: Once home I was able to fall over on my couch and watch some TV shows on my computer. Then exercise and read a book.

6^th: After losing motivation to fetch water because the nearby tap is broken, a pupil came by to offer if he could bring me some from the far away borehole.

7^th: A friend came by because I’d mentioned how I wanted to plant some flowers now that the rains have started and he wanted to know what kind he could bring for me and where he could plant them.

8^th: A friend came by just because he wanted to talk to me. He’s a student in secondary school and is currently facing a lot of hardships concerning money. He’s one of the most honest, forward thinking kids I’ve ever met in this country and it’s so sad because my suggestions of how to fix certain problems might work in the states, but this is Uganda and things aren’t so easy as that.

9^th: I just got home from returning a dish a neighbor had let me barrow. I ended up sitting and talking with her until it was too dark to see. We discussed how hard working the women in this country are and how the men have such nerve to say and ask what they do of them. We discussed everything from how men have their wives take their basin to the bathing area for them to trading them for livestock when they get married to circumcising the women so they get no enjoyment out of sex so they won’t cheat (even though they could have 4 wives if they wanted).

10^th: And now, here I am. Sitting in my own house comfortable, satisfied, and expressing my views freely.

WOW! Something I don’t think I’ll ever take for granted again is how lucky I am to be a “mzungu” born in America. Uganda is a wonderful country and I’m loving my time here, but it’s made me feel a little weird. How is it possible that I can be SO blessed when so many others are facing such difficulties?

I was able to receive a great education to think outside the box.
I’ve felt so much love from so many people on so many occasions.

I have the knowhow to make a variety of foods using a variety of ingredients.

I have the funds to enjoy the more “luxurious” things in life.

I have resources that people here would do almost anything for.

I live in a community where people are concerned about my wellbeing.  

I have people willing to help me out just because they want to make me happy.

I’ve never faced such financial struggles where I didn’t even have shoes for school.

I haven’t ever had to worry about marrying a man as fowl as that.

I’ve never gone hungry or been unable to express myself as I please.

Yeah, these are things we all hear from parents all the time, but it holds such a different weight when you’ve been living it for the last 16 months. I didn’t really know how the post was going to go when I started writing, and I’m sorry if you didn’t enjoy, but I’m happy with it. Mainly for my own sake. Because even though the words can be read to get the point across, the feeling comes from the experience and it’s something I think I finally, truly understand.

And I’m so grateful for it. 

Riddle me this:
What's better than "Adventure Time"
and cookies??
Basically nothing is the answer I was looking for

Invited some teachers for pot stickers.
They loved them!
Also, super pro at chop sticks

These girls are boarding pupils.
They wake up at dawn to do chores,
sit in a stuffy over crowded classroom all day,
and then come home to do more chores before bed.
So I invited them to make banana bread,
color, paint our nails, and take silly pictures.

I gave a lesson about teaching letter sounds
which lead to a very long (& funny) discussion
about spelling and pronouncing words

Random guy runs up to me as I'm walking by his house.
"Wait! *catches breath* Do you like baking?"
Instant friendship

"You are welcome our DEAR visitors"

“We are happy to see you here”
“Something…something else something…”
“I don’t remember the rest of the song”

^A song that Ugandans sing all the time to visitors they receive. (so maybe I should remember the lyrics..??)

Anyway, today was DEAR Day.

“WOW! Like, OMG! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??!?!?” <-your reaction

Reading culture isn’t here and most of my pupils can’t read anyway because of how little it’s emphasized on in school. So, PCVs all over the country organized so that we would all Drop Everything And Read (acronym making sense now?) on this day to encourage reading. My awesome fellow PCV who was in charge of the whole thing organized it so my school would get a visitor from the US Embassy, which was a huge deal! Also, a Peace Corps staff member came to visit. Needless to say, that really pumped up my school for this event and I think we all had a great time.

The assembly

We first held an assembly where our embassy visitor read a short story called “The New Ball” in English to the 900 pupils. Two other teachers translated into the local language and 15 other teachers acted out the story in the background. Lots of laughs were had at watching the teachers trying to get a hold of the ball. Then everyone went back to their rooms and the teachers conducted a reading activity with their own class. They really enjoyed having the visitors and showing off their reading skills. It was nice to see the eagerness and hear kids telling me they wanted books when it was all over. Yay reading for fun!

Some teachers had their pupils write
and read their own stories

Some teachers had their pupils read
together in groups

And some teachers did old fashion
read to the class :)

Today really made me appreciate my teachers, pupils, and school in general even more so. I really am in love with these people and this place and I feel very lucky to be here. Makes me sad to think I only have 9 months left... It's really gonna fly!

When it rains, it pours

There are two seasons in Uganda: rainy and dry. Dry season is no fun, but I didn’t mind it so much last year because it would still rain a bit and be somehow cool where I had been living. Here in the east, it’s a different story! I haven’t seen rain since Christmas… until today! It’s amazing how you can feel the dust being beat to the ground by each drop that falls. The loud crash of water hitting my tin roof is music to my ears! And I’m in love with the whole “not sweating in my house all the time” thing. Let’s raise our glasses to bid farewell to the constant dust layer covering everything and welcome instead, the muddy shoes and never dry laundry!

*clank*

It seems that bad things always happen in clusters. Let’s review the following week:

1. The nails in my back door hinge came out of the frame as I was closing up for the night.

2. The water was out from the tap I fetch from when I was having people come the next day.

3. My computer fan died and then my screen went totally black…

But with every negative there is always a positive. Let’s review the outcomes of each:

1. I got to feel awesome by balancing the door on a rock as I nailed my door back in.

2. My pupils were nice enough to fetch water from the borehole at the college until the water came back to the tap. Then my friends who came helped me fetch even more water from that.

3. My faith and confidence in Ugandans was restored by meeting Fred, who took apart, cleaned/fixed, and then reassembled my computer like it was nothing. It’s now working better than it has in a long time. Also, he only charged me half price!

Probably the most terrifying moment of my life,
but a job well done!
Also, disgusting dust clog.
Yuck.

Speaking of books,
my pupils keep bringing me them
because they 'love me' and
they saw me reading at school.
Oh Uganda... :P

Tomorrow starts the 3^rd week of school. I’ve had a good 1^st two weeks at the new place. I like all of my teachers and it’s very convenient living so close. My counterpart was assigned a transfer to another school, but we went to talk to the district education officer and she got to come back! I hope she can stay all year because she is AWESOME. There are a lot more pupils at this school than at my last which is a little overwhelming, but I’ve begun doing reading assessments with the P4 pupils so I can start reading groups. There are a lot of other things I’m ready to get into motion as well. Like on Tuesday, some teachers and I are taking 2 pupils from each class on a field trip to the library in town. They’ll learn how to use a library properly so they can share that knowledge with their classmates for how to use our school library.

The P4 class. Wow.

So cuuuute!

Fun story: Bats live in my roof. Usually they don’t disturb me other than dropping things and making noise. The other night I woke up to one of them being stuck on top of my mosquito net. (I work up a bit later to a mouse with the same problem) Then a couple nights after that, the bat somehow managed to get stuck under my bed. Friday, I walk into my room and there he is, just chillin’ on my bed post. So my friend helped me scoop him up in a can and release him outside. I’m sure he’ll find his way back and I can still hear a lot of creatures up there, but it was a total TIU (This Is Uganda) moment.

As I’ve mentioned, my new place is in a very convenient location so I’ve been having a lot of visitors. I had a very nice birthday lunch last week with my PCV neighbors and some more came this weekend for a Chinese New Year/Valentine’s Day celebration. Involved lots of good food of course. My house is finally all organized and I’ve also been keeping busy with other personal goals I’m wanting to work on this year.

Happy (late) Valentine's Day &
Xin Nian Kuai Le (next week)!

This year has started out really well and I’m feeling very happy to be here. Now, I’m going to go enjoy this rainy Sunday by drinking some tea while snuggled up on the couch watching a movie. Chocolate will probably be involved as well. As always, thanks for the love and support <3 <3

Life is Better When You're Laughing

Kuseka=to laugh. We definitely did a lot of that at the Camp Kuseka! Let me tell ya about it.

PCVs (Peace Corps Volunteers) put on camps for different groups of students during the school’s term breaks. This particular one focused on special needs children in the western part of Uganda. It was a smaller sized camp, only about 40 or so kids, but each camper had their own counselor and every counselor had a max of two campers. That was nice for developing a really good relationship during the week they were there.

Me and Sharon

The kids ages ranged from 5-27. Some had physical disabilities, some had mental, some a bit of both. They were broken up into 3 different groups with their counselors. I was in the Orange team and my camper was super cute! She has a limp and is so so soooooo shy. She’s 12 years old and understands a bit of English. It took her sometime to start talking, and even then she still didn’t say much, but her smile! Oh my gosh! When she was happy, she had the biggest smile and most adorable laugh. She liked to play and dance a lot. When she first arrived she was very quiet and didn’t play with any of the other campers. By the end of it, she was running around and participating with the others. It was a really great thing to see!

Spending all day everyday for a week with a bunch of kids is definitely tiring, but it was tons of fun! It was so nice to see these kids who have such a hard time here because of their disability, light up and be seen as themselves instead of “what’s wrong with them”.

Most counselors were PCVs but some of them were HCNs (host country nationals. Aka: Ugandans). Even some of the directors were. They also invited the parents to come for two of the days to attend sessions to learn more about how to empower their child. Most kids with disabilities get beat or neglected because of it. Seeing all the adults come together to stand up for their children was really moving. They even had a Special Olympics winner come as a guest speaker!

Camp is a lot of work. The days are hot, you always need to be on, and sometimes your camper just doesn’t want to participate, but it was all worth it in the end to touch the lives of these kids in some small way. Change is a very slow process, but I can already see that Uganda is heading in the right direction. I know that someday the stigma of disabilities will be eradicated! It’s just gonna take some time and a lot of work. I’m thankful to the people who do that :)

(Camp was from January 12-16^th so it’s been over a week since I wrote everything above. Now I want to say a short few words about more recent things.)

The week after camp, the new education group swore in as new Peace Corps Volunteers. I went to their ceremony and it felt very, very strange to reflect back on what I was feeling a year ago when I was in their shoes, what I’ve done/learned in the year since, and where I am now. It was refreshing to see their excitement, but also made me a little sad to think about the hardships they’re going to face. But they’re a great group of people and I’m very happy to have them here!

My poster for the gallery walk at MSC.
It's been a good year!

My cohort (group I came with) just got home from our MSC (Mid-Service Conference). It was the first time we had been together as a cohort without any other PCVs since our IST back last April. It’s truly amazing to look at how far we’ve come as a group and as individuals. MSC felt so far away this time last year when we had just arrived. Now it’s come and gone and COS (Close of Service) Conference will be here before we know it. It made me a little emotional to think about how quickly this second year will go and how we’ll then have to say goodbye. These people have become my family and show a huge support simply by being here and experiencing all this with me. You can talk about it all you want to friends back home, but they’ll never fully understand it like your fellow PCVs do. All of this hit me at MSC and I feel very blessed to have such an amazing group of people to share these two years with.

We’ve all been through a lot of ups and downs this past year and we’ll continue to go through more. That’s just life. Tomorrow is the first day of the new school year. I’m settled into my new house and now I get to settle into my new school. Getting a site change was no fun, but from it, a new motivation has grown in me and it feels amazing! I have lots of ideas I want to try out and am SO ready to take on this year!

I’m thankful to all of the people who have shown me non-stop love and support during these last few months when I was going through a difficult time. I feel like I’m in a really good place now and I’m looking forward to what lies ahead :)

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes

The word “flexible” is such a cliché word to use right now, but Peace Corps definitely wasn’t lying when they said volunteers needed to be it. So many things have been changing for me lately which has required a lot of flexibility. Where shall I begin?

To sum up, I had to get a site change.

This means that I had to leave the place I’ve been living for the last year (and where I thought I’d be living for the next year) and move to a new place. This might not seem like a big deal, but it really interrupts a PCV’s service. Things move slowly here and it takes a long time working with your community for things to really stick and become “sustainable” (another PC cliché word). Not only did I have to leave the school I’ve been at, but also my village, district, and even region. I’ve been moved to a place that speaks a different language than I learned and with a different culture. The worst is that I had to leave the good friends I made and now I’m surrounded by a bunch of strangers like how it was when I first arrived. I have to relearn where everything is and meet everyone all over again.

But I make it sound all bad when it’s really not. There are actually A LOT of pros to where I’m going (the east) as opposed to where I was (the southwest).

I’m now very close to many other PCVs so I won’t be the only mzungu around. I’m also very close to a big touristy town where I can get a lot of ingredients and even milkshakes. It’s also closer to the capital so I won’t have to be stuck on a bus for as long when I need to go there. Speaking of transportation, they tend to not overfill the vehicles as much in the east (no more squeezing 10 into a 5 person car!). Also the school I’m going to had an awesome volunteer there before so they know what to expect and the teachers seem to be more eager to work with me. This also allows me to meet new people and experience a whole new culture and part of the country to broaden my scope of Uganda.

Site changes are never ideal for PCVs, but they happen. Mine was because of housing issues that couldn’t be avoided. I was sad that I had to leave, but I’m also excited for the new adventure waiting for me this upcoming year! I will miss the cool weather and hilly landscape of the south west, but I’m next to Lake Victoria and the River Nile now, so it’s not a bad trade (even if it is a little hotter).

Tonight is my 1^st night in the house. Fitting since it’s also the 1^st day of the year :P I felt a bit overwhelmed by the amount of things I needed to do when I arrived, but thankfully, my neighbor is awesome and helped me out by getting some girls to move things around, sweep, and mop the whole house! They also lent me some curtains and a jerry can full of water since I didn’t have any.

Info about the house: It’s big! 2 bedrooms, toilet room, bathing room, kitchen, and living room. It has electricity but no running water. There’s a nearby tap though so I don’t have to go far to fetch it. So it’s funny to have a toilet inside because it requires a manual flush by pouring water into the bowl, so the pit latrine outside might be easier at times. It also doesn’t have a ceiling so bat droppings, bugs, and dirt fall from the roof onto everything. I *might* be installing a ceiling (at least in the living room) but we’ll see. I live in a teacher’s house right behind the primary school I’ll be working at so I’m a bit nervous about the noise and privacy levels when term starts (but really, when is it ever quiet or private here?) I’m near a trading center so I can buy small things I need and also near the road so I can catch a taxi to town very easily to buy the bigger things.

Tomorrow will be a busy day of organizing, buying, meeting people, and learning where everything is again, but it’s nice to finally be at a place I can really call “home” and get settled into permanently.

My new place!

Some other changes have been the education group who arrived a year before my group are leaving! This is very sad because I’ve made really good friends with some of them and we saw them as “the old wise ones” who could always help us out. Now the new group of education volunteers has arrived and we’re the old ones! I still feel like I’m learning so much more every day, so it’s a weird feeling. It’s never fun saying goodbye to people who’ve been with you through so much during the last year, but it’s also been very refreshing to meet the newbies. Their enthusiasm is contagious.

And then there’s the holidays.

My second Christmas in Uganda has come and gone. I enjoyed it very much. How could you not when you’re surrounded by great friends and wonderful food? But of course I was also really missing home. To make up for all we’re missing, about 15-20 of us PCVs got together at a friend’s place, got a tree, decorated it with lights and snowflakes and even a popcorn string, watched “It’s a Wonderful Life”, sang Christmas songs, read the Christmas story from Luke 2, exchanged gifts via White Elephant method, ate Christmas candies (p-nut brittle, pies, caramel, etc) and dinner food stuffs (slaughtered chickens and duck, mashed and sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, broccoli salad, etc), and even had a “snowball” fight which consisted of filling nylons with flour and throwing them at each other! I even treated myself and got a jar of Nutella ;)

Happy holidays!

All these things combined with the “one year slump” many PCVs experience, have made me feel a roller coaster of emotions. It’s been a rocky last couple of months, but it’s getting better every day. I’m getting settled in and have a lot of things I want to try out at my new school. Not only that, I’ve set a lot of personal goals for myself that I’m ready to start working on. 2015 will be full of ups and downs, but I’m ready and excited for everything it brings with it.